In the pulsating world of electronic dance music (EDM), where late-night sets and global tours dominate schedules, maintaining a long-term relationship can seem like an impossible feat. Yet, Armin van Buuren, the Dutch DJ and producer hailed as the “King of Trance,” has defied the odds. Married to his wife Erika van Thiel for over two decades, the 46-year-old icon recently opened up about the secrets behind their enduring bond in an exclusive interview. “EDM doesn’t kill love,” he declared, challenging the stereotype that the industry’s demanding lifestyle is incompatible with marital bliss. This revelation comes at a time when discussions about work-life balance in creative fields are gaining traction, offering hope to fans and fellow artists alike.
The Backstory: From Solo DJ to Family Man
Armin van Buuren‘s journey in EDM began in the early 1990s, when he first burst onto the scene with his radio show “A State of Trance.” Known for his meticulous production style and chart-topping tracks like “This Is What It Feels Like,” he quickly became a global sensation. But behind the decks, his personal life was evolving. In 2003, he tied the knot with Erika, a former model and entrepreneur, in a private ceremony. The couple now shares two children, a daughter and a son, and resides in a serene Dutch countryside home far removed from the neon lights of festivals.

What makes their story remarkable is the contrast between van Buuren‘s high-octane career and his grounded family life. While many in the EDM scene grapple with burnout, substance issues, or failed relationships, the Dutch star attributes his success to intentional choices. “It’s not about sacrificing one for the other,” he explained during our conversation. “It’s about integrating them seamlessly.” This philosophy has allowed him to tour relentlessly—performing at events like Tomorrowland and Ultra Music Festival—while ensuring his family remains his top priority.
Balancing Act: Secrets to a 20-Year Marriage in EDM
At the heart of Armin van Buuren‘s advice is the concept of “quality over quantity.” In an industry where artists are often on the road for months, he emphasizes making the most of the time spent together. “When I’m home, I’m fully present,” he shared. “No phones, no distractions—just us.” This approach, he says, stems from early lessons learned during his rise to fame. In the late 1990s, as his popularity soared, he witnessed colleagues’ relationships crumble under the pressure. Determined not to follow suit, he and Erika established rituals that keep their connection strong.
One key secret is open communication. Van Buuren credits regular “check-in” sessions where they discuss everything from tour schedules to emotional needs. “We talk about the highs and lows,” he revealed. “It’s not always easy, but honesty prevents resentment from building.” This transparency has been crucial during challenging periods, such as the COVID-19 pandemic, when global lockdowns forced him to adapt his career virtually. Instead of drifting apart, the couple used the downtime to strengthen their bond, even planning a family vacation once travel resumed.
Another pillar is mutual respect for each other’s ambitions. Erika, who runs her own business, understands the demands of EDM stardom, while Armin supports her endeavors. “She’s my rock,” he admitted. “Without her understanding, none of this would work.” This reciprocity extends to parenting, where they co-manage their children’s education and extracurriculars. Despite his fame, van Buuren insists on being a hands-on father, often sharing glimpses of family life on social media without oversharing.
The Role of Routine and Self-Care in Sustaining Love
Routine plays a pivotal role in the van Buuren household. Amidst erratic EDM schedules, they maintain a structured daily life that includes shared meals, exercise, and downtime. “Routine isn’t boring; it’s stabilizing,” he noted. For instance, they start each day with a family breakfast, regardless of his jet lag. This consistency fosters intimacy and prevents the chaos of touring from seeping into their home.
Self-care is equally vital. Armin van Buuren practices mindfulness and meditation to manage stress, techniques he picked up during yoga sessions with Erika. “If I’m not centered, I can’t be a good husband or father,” he explained. He also advocates for physical health, hitting the gym regularly to combat the sedentary nature of studio work. Erika, too, prioritizes her well-being, which creates a positive environment for the whole family. This holistic approach has helped them navigate health scares and career setbacks, emerging stronger each time.
Insights from Experts: Why EDM Relationships Struggle and How to Succeed
To provide context, we consulted relationship experts who specialize in high-profile couples. Dr. Elena Martinez, a psychologist at the University of Amsterdam, noted that EDM‘s fast-paced world often leads to emotional neglect. “Artists like Armin van Buuren who prioritize boundaries succeed because they set clear expectations,” she said. “It’s about creating a ‘sanctuary’ at home away from the spotlight.”
Similarly, EDM insider and producer Ferry Corsten, a longtime friend of van Buuren, shared anecdotes from the industry. “I’ve seen too many marriages fail due to infidelity or exhaustion,” Corsten remarked. “Armin’s secret is discipline— he knows when to say no to gigs and yes to family.” This discipline includes limiting social media engagement during off-hours, allowing genuine connections to flourish.
Experts agree that van Buuren‘s model is replicable. Key takeaways include:
Prioritizing Communication: Regular, honest dialogues prevent misunderstandings.
Setting Boundaries: Designate “family time” free from work intrusions.
Embracing Flexibility: Adapt to each other’s needs, especially in unpredictable careers.
Seeking Support: Therapy or counseling can help navigate conflicts.
Fan Reactions and Broader Implications
The interview sparked widespread interest, with fans flooding forums and social platforms with praise. “If Armin can do it, there’s hope for us mere mortals,” one commenter wrote. Others shared personal stories of balancing demanding jobs with relationships, echoing van Buuren‘s message that love thrives on effort, not convenience.
Broader implications for the EDM community are significant. As the industry grows—projected to reach $10 billion by 2025—artists face increasing pressure. Van Buuren‘s example challenges the narrative of inevitable burnout, promoting sustainable success. Festivals and labels are taking note, with initiatives like mental health workshops becoming more common.
Looking Ahead: Armin’s Future in EDM and Beyond
Looking forward, Armin van Buuren shows no signs of slowing down. With a new album in the works and plans for a world tour, he’s excited about blending his career with family life. “The next chapter is about legacy,” he said. “Not just in music, but in showing that passion and love can coexist.”
In conclusion, Armin van Buuren‘s 20-year marriage proves that EDM doesn’t have to extinguish romance—it can fuel it. By sharing his secrets, he’s not only inspiring fans but also reshaping perceptions of success in the music world. As he prepares for his next set, one thing is clear: the “King of Trance” has mastered the art of harmony, both on and off the stage.